What She Said

Foreign words…Helmet and Rifle

I’ve never seen a need for you in my life. Still don’t….as I sit here on my comfortable leather chair in my comfortable living room in my comfortable little Cape Cod style home in my comfortable little town in Ohio in my comfortable little USA.

Yet today my son will be ssued a Helmet and Rifle.

And because of that….

I can sit here on my comfortable leather chair in my comfortable living room in my comfortable little Cape Cod style home in my comfortable little town in Ohio in my comfortable little USA.

Thank you, my son….

In my basement inside of a cedar chest is a blanket….well, it’s actually a piece of a blanket. A baby blanket. My baby loved this blanket, slept with it, and carried it with him everywhere he went until he was 4. He gradually unravelled it……one thread at a time. And now my heart is gradually unravelling….one thread at a time. Safe journey, my son…my baby…my heart.

My son, Joey, has written one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard.

You can listen to it here:

We Must Move On

I’m listening as I post this….the lyrics are as amazing as the music:

Why do I always try
To redeem a world that you redeemed me from?
To resurrect a life that’s dead and gone?
Or fight a war that you’ve already won?

And why do you see us through
And keep us no matter what we do?
Whether we follow you, or whether we run
The price you paid for us is never undone.

We must move on.
What once seemed right
Is clearly wrong.
It’s time to grow,
And come to know
The God who’ll never
Let us go.

Lord we hunger and thirst…no more,
’cause you were what we thirsted for.
And now your here.
And now your here.

Why can’t we all agree?
religion, tradition…it’s all mythology.
There’s so much more to God that we can’t see
Until we walk away from history.

God speed the day when we understand
How deep and full your love has always been.
How all the world is in your recompense.
And every soul has your deliverance.

We must move on.
What once seemed right
Is clearly wrong.
It’s time to grow,
And come to know
The God who’ll never
Let us go.

Yes You speak to us Lord.
You live and breathe inside our hearts.
And you’re so much more
than some words on a page.

My son Joey turns 34 tomorrow, September 24, 2010. I would love to be able to articulate what his presence in my life has meant; but I just don’t think it’s possible.
Joey has exceeded every expectation that I had as his mother. He’s an amazing husband and father; he provides for his family by doing something that he loves. And yet he has time to commit to his art….which I believe is his utmost passion.
Joey is an amazing young man; and I’m overwhelmed with pride to call him “My Son”.
I love you, Joey…..

There will never be another dog like her! So glad she’s part of our lives.

As the mother of a new Airman, Memorial Day has an even more special meaning than in years past.

It means I have come to appreciate what my father, uncle and grandfather did to secure our freedom.

It means I understand now what the mothers of our troops have gone and are going through.

It means that I will have a lump in my throat…..more so than normal…..when the National Anthem is played, when a flag is raised, or when I say the Pledge of Allegiance.

It means my son has willingly marched into the unknown with my full support.

It means I’m more aware than ever that our freedom comes at a price.

And it means that I am the proud mother of Airman John H. Swinney who has my heart, my love and my complete support. God Bless You, Son.

To the zero people who check this blog, please take time to remember the fallen soldiers this Memorial Day. And then, please think about and find a way to thank the young men who willingly protect our country now.

Memories of BMT Graduation Trip – May 5, 2010 – May 9, 2010

1. John and Rikki in the backseat of the rental car. John says “I’m getting paid for this”. He’s never had a salaried job.
2. Being so close to John at the Coin Ceremony as he assisted his TI with handing out the coins.
3. That first hug after 8 ½ weeks; and knowing John felt the same emotions.
4. Of the thousands of people there, the first person I really “saw” at the Airmen’s Run was John’s father across the street. (I didn’t say they would all be GOOD memories).
5. The Riverwalk and John going into the “Life is Good” store and buying me a zip-up hoodie and a little necklace with a heart on it for Mother’s Day.
6. Calling John to come to our hotel room on Saturday evening for a really long hug. Lots of tears for me.
7. Meeting Rikki and her mom, Ronda, at the San Antonio Airport.
8. Laughing with John about the “gay” TI and listening to his impression of the guy.
9. Hearing over 700 young Airmen sing The Air Force Anthem……Off we go into the wild blue yonder…..
10. Sgt. Clevenger, John’s TI, and John getting pissed because John’s dad showed up at his dorm before us and presented himself and his wife as “John’s parents”.
11. Giving John and Rikki St. Michael’s necklaces and knowing that John wore his.
12. John giving Warren a “dog tag” that says “To a loving Stepfather. Thank you for your support and for being the proud parent of an Airman.”
13. John handing me a bumper sticker in the BX that says “My Son is in the Air Force” and saying “Hey Mom, I bought this for you”.
14. Sitting for three hours in the bleachers, facing the sun and waiting for the Coin Ceremony to start.
15. We all got sunburned. John had a “V” on his face where his AF hat covered part of his head. Rikki was so burned, she slathered her arms, chest, and neck with aloe.
16. John introducing Rikki to his TI as “my fiancé”; it was news to all of us, including Rikki.
17. Seeing John run by twice in the Airmen’s Run and Warren being able to get a couple of pictures both times.
18. Hugging John after graduation.
19. Seeing John’s dad and his wife searching for John after graduation and steering them to him; and knowing they would not have done the same.
20. Watching John try on watches and sunglasses again and again and again…..his graduation and birthday gifts. I finally said “Pick one!” I was getting exhausted by the heat.
21. Dropping John off after town pass on Friday and watching him make a “military turn” and start marching, by himself, to the dorm.
22. Eating not-so-great Mexican food at Acentar on the Riverwalk…..and I even researched it!
23. In the car, and being able to reach back and feel John take my hand.
24. Being amazed at how straight and tall John sat and walked. He had so much pride in his accomplishments, and it was obvious.
25. Leaving John………..

John graduated from BMT (Basic Military Training) Friday, May 7, 2010 in San Antonio. We attended all the ceremonies/meetings which began on Thursday morning at 7:00 a.m.

I’m so proud of John for accomplishing this goal in his life. He’s headed now, even as I type this, to Sheppard AFB in Wichita Falls, TX where he will attend Tech School to become a Munitions Expert (inspect, move, deliver and, in some cases, assemble guns, artillery and bombs).

I’ve learned that, at some point, it is highly likely he will be deployed to the Middle East for 4-6 months. Please keep John in your prayers as he embarks on this journey.

Before you were conceived, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. When you were born, I saw your face and knew I was in love. Before you were an hour old, I knew I would die for you. To this day, I will.
Joey and John…..I love you more than you will ever know. It has been a privilege to be your Mom.